“Why does it seem that the dress codes enforced in church favor men over women?”
“Why should I feel obligated to give hugs to everyone when making physical contact is a trigger of mine?”
These are questions I’ve asked myself numerous times throughout the years.
And even though they may not seem to correlate, both inquiries have one main common point.
This common point is physicality.
Although this term can be interpreted in various ways, it can be defined as an intense focus on the physical body or the needs of the body.
Physicality has always carried this unspoken stigma in the church.
No one is to ever to ever question these unofficial rules that have been established since what seems like forever.
These rules are the answers to the questions listed above.
It seems like the dress code enforced in church favor men over women because they do.
I feel obligated to give hugs to everyone because that is what’s expected of me.
That is unfortunately the truth of the matter, and we’re going to uncover why this should not be.
Okay, so church attire.
Listen, I love clothes, yea?
Like, I really LOVE clothes!
Most of my loyal readers already know this, but for the newbies, fashion is kind of my thing. (Check out my mini biography here: https://themelaninperspective.com/about-me/ )
And honestly, I always loved traditional church attire.
Okay, lol.
I’m lying, most of it is horrendous, but some styles are cute.
As a little holy fashionista, I used to look forward to wearing my new outfit on Easter Sundays and at the Christmas programs.
But that excitement dwindled as I got older (and I stopped getting new outfits to wear).
Once again, my little ole disrespectful, inquisitive mind began forming all these thoughts and questions that would go unanswered.
“Why do I always have to wear these stockings, even in ninety-degree weather?”
“Why is have my arms out such a taboo?”
“Why do I have to wear all these layers in an attempt to compress breasts that will obviously stick out either way?”
And a familiar fan favorite, “Why do all the females have to change into a skirt every time they got to church, even if they’re coming from work or school?”.
Now I completely acknowledge that there should be a standard in God’s house, you shouldn’t come to him any kind of way when you know better.
Church is not a fashion show, after all.
But if it’s not a show, then why do I always have to throw on a skirt to be considered holy?
What is so sinful about wearing pants as a woman or young girl?
I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that is Christian law.
I also refuse to accept the notion that I have to dress like a nun, so as to not draw the attention of men.
If shoulders and calves are that distracting, then it’s them that need to be pulled to the alter, not me.
I can’t change the way God made me, I can’t hide my body type, and if a man has that mindset, his thoughts will wander whether I have on a bulky dress or fitted skirt.
Moral of the story?
Be respectful but be you.
Not everyone does church suits and big hats.
And that’s okay, because the true intent for going to church in the first place exceeds attire by far.
Now on to this touching thing.
I’m not going to go on as long a rant about this because it’s a simple concept.
If you don’t want to hug your neighbor, don’t.
Not everyone feels comfortable making physical contact with others.
You don’t know what traumas someone has undergone, and honestly, I’ve been in the church bathrooms.
Not all the saints wash their hands, and I like cleanliness.
I am in no way trying to act superior to others, but this is a different time, and people are more guarded than ever before.
Churches must be careful with certain traditional practices.
There are ways to get a point across while still maintaining boundaries.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
I thoroughly enjoyed doing this series, guys.
All the feedback has been amazing, and I really appreciate all the support I’ve received.
It means more than you know.
There are so many topics under this umbrella that I haven’t touched on yet, so let me know if you all would be interested in a second church series at some point in the future.
Sound off in the comments below and on the social media pages.
Catch you guys next week for our final series of 2019!
I wonder what that will be…